DERRY, ME- We are seeing Pennywise in a whole new light today after The Washington Post released a nuanced and touchingly sensitive portrait of the child-devouring demon-clown.
“Pennywise came from a cosmic dimension far more advanced than our own.” the piece began. “Misunderstood by many, he showed us all how to be true to yourself. He was a survivor and an innovator. Not all will agree with his methods, but one cannot deny that he likely delayed the climate apocalypse by 100 years with all the children he consumed. While some will celebrate, many will shed a tear knowing the eldritch power of the deadlights from beyond is now extinguished. It is certain that his memory will live on in the countless costumes inspired by his quirky fashion sense.”
In a world so filled with closed-minded bigotry, it’s great to see that the highly intelligent and sophisticated moral arbiters of the Washington Post are helping us all to see the world in a beautiful shade of murky grey.
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