TEHRAN, IRAN – With Iran’s oil industry crippled and America now energy independent, Iran has turned to a new export to bolster their economy: used hijabs that apparently no one is wearing any more. According to the most recent U.S. census data, Iran has become the world’s #1 exporter of gently used, unwanted Islamic Hijab head coverings for women.
During CNN’s weekly briefing with Iran’s Supreme Leader Khamenei, in which they receive the latest Iran talking points on their ongoing war with The Great Satan, Khamenei explained the current situation.
“These used hijabs are no longer needed in Iran since the original owners are being imprisoned for refusing to wear them. It is our hope, may Allah be praised, that this new industry might provide Iran with the funds to hire a new top-terrorist, build another bomb, or at least get me another woman for my harem.”
According to customs data, 100% of these hijabs are being imported to Portland, Oregon to be worn by American feminists.
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