WASHINGTON, DC- A group of 300 concerned scientists has come forward this week with a concerning new climate report. According to the details of the study, the earth will be completely uninhabitable within 3 years unless excess methane-levels generated Eric Swalwell are drastically reduced.
“For years, we have studied the harmful effects of cow flatulence on the warming of the planet.” said Jimbal Misturkenbyorgen, lead researcher at the Center For Collection Of Government Grants For The Purpose of Scaring The Public And Winning More Grants, or C.F.C.O.G.G.F.T.P.O.S.Y.P.A.W.M.G. “We were horrified to realize we were not taking into account the incredible amount of hot air generated by congress, from both ends of their digestive systems. When we entered this new data into our computer models, we found that we have only 3 years to act, not 12.”
Alexandria-Occasio-Cortez reacted to the news on Twitter:
We at The Petty Prophet join AOC and call Eric Swalwell to step down, for the good of the planet, and the future of our children.
