HEAVEN – According to sources in the afterlife, heavenly construction crews have obtained building permits to prepare a totally epic mansion in heaven for Earth’s mightiest hero: The Doomslayer.
“Jesus promised to go and prepare a place in heaven for all his followers, so needless to say, we’ve been working overtime,” said one celestial foreman. We have a standard blueprint for most heavenly mansions, but in the case of the Doomslayer, we wanted to do something special. He has definitely gone above and beyond. Ripping and tearing through hoards of demons is no easy feat. He deserves an epic place.”
Sources confirmed the mansion will include a built-in sound system worthy of the most metal of metalheads, a room dedicated to weapons and electric guitars, and an infinity pool to help wash off all the goop after a long day of demon-slaying.
When asked for comment, the Doomslayer simply grunted and dove into a portal to go kill another Hellpriest.
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