WARREN AFB – After an executive order from President Trump, the Department of Defense has announced they will be adding Donald Trump’s signature to every nuclear warhead in America. To help make America great again, they will be employing only local American artisans and painters to do the work.
Local artists were initially hesitant to accept the work but changed their minds when the DoD offered them $50,000 per signature. Artists will be given a top-secret security clearance to enter nuclear silos and lovingly emblazon each missile with beautiful and unique artistic representations of Trump’s name and signature.
Now every thermonuclear warhead in America will be emblazoned with the Herbie Hancock of the Trumpster himself! Officials have assured the public that the addition of thousands of signatures to America’s nuclear arsenal will in no way delay nuclear war with China, which is scheduled for next Wednesday.
