GOSHEN, IN – With Bernie Sanders cleaning up in the democratic primaries, voters around the country are expressing concern as to whether America is ready to elect yet another Communist as president of the United States. Obama, America’s first communist president, was a disappointment to many.
The Petty Prophet spent some time in a Midwestern diner to talk to Joe Corncobb and Bobby Sixpack about these latest developments. “I’m a little worried,” said Joe, who was wearing a checkered shirt and holding a sprig of wheat in his teeth. “I mean, we already elected a Commie who pretended he wasn’t a Commie. Are we ready for a Commie who doesn’t pretend he’s not a Commie?”
Bobby Sixpack picked at his fried egg as a Bruce Springsteen song began to play on the jukebox. The quaint old diner atmosphere was immediately interrupted by a needle drop sound from the record player. The jukebox began to play a glorious rendition of the Soviet anthem. At the sound of the music, a group of bearded hipsters in a corner booth slowly stood up and faced east. With a glazed, far off look in their eyes, they joined in a chorus of praise to the rebirth of the USSR.
Bobby Sixpack stood up, walked over to the group, and knocked all five of them out with one blow. The unfortunate hipsters are currently recovering in a nearby country hospital.
It would appear America isn’t quite ready. Democrats are currently discussing strategies to continue pretending to not be communists.
CLICK HERE for more from The Petty Prophet!
And don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast!
