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March 28, 2024
Church Abortion Clinic

Church Disguises Itself As An Abortion Clinic So Government Will Let It Stay Open

Richmond, VA — With churches around the country closing, and violators of stay-at-home orders being fined and imprisoned, one church in Virginia has resorted to a desperate yet innovative solution for ensuring they can open their doors this coming Easter: pretending to be a Planned Parenthood.

“We saw that abortion clinics across the state were still being allowed to see record numbers of patients for elective abortions, in spite of the virus risk. People’s cancer surgeries are being delayed, but abortions are still being done without restriction,” said Reverend Alden of First Bible Church of Richmond. “We will still maintain PPE and social distancing standards for this upcoming Easter service, but we figured we’d give ourselves some extra protection by slapping a big Planned Parenthood sign on the front of the building, just in case.”

There is no word on whether other churches will be resorting to this tactic in the coming weeks, but there are many other strategies being considered, such as pretending to be an essential business like Burger King or a 7-Eleven.

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