U.S. – Democratic voters all around the country are breathing a sigh of relief today. Joe Biden has been revealed to actually be Michelle Obama wearing a Biden mask. Last night during a remote press conference, Michelle Obama removed her Joe Biden mask to reveal her glamorous presidential beauty for the world to see. The hopes of millions have been reignited by the former first lady.
“This was a test of faith,” Michelle said. “Now we know who is truly dedicated to our cause. Your faith has been measured and found to be true. Since you were willing to vote for a doddering old man for the sake of defeating Bad Orange Man, I now know your hearts are true. Bask in my love, dear children, and follow me.”
“Such beautiful, beautiful news!” CNN’s Brian Stelter cried through tear-filled eyes. “Michelle will save us! I swear allegiance to you, my queen!” Journalists and celebrities have gathered in DC from all around the globe to bring tribute to the new Queen of all Humanity. Chuck Schumer, speaking with The Petty Prophet, said “With such a flawless human being in office, the legislative and judicial branches of government will likely no longer be necessary. The light of Michelle shall be a beacon of hope for not just the Democrat party, but for all humanity.”
All Hail, Queen Obama, Bringer of Light.
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