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May 12, 2024
Hillary with Money

Republican National Committee Offers Hillary $32 Million To Convince Her To Run Against Trump Again

WASHINGTON, DC- The Republican National Committee has officially offered to donate $32 million to Hillary Clinton’s election campaign against Donald Trump.

Following Clinton’s announcement that she will be seeking reelection, RNC Chair Ronna Romney McDaniel held a press conference this morning in which she shared their bold new strategy. “The Republican National Committee would like to donate a sum total of $32 million to Hillary Clinton’s White House bid. Furthermore, we want the Democrats to know that if she is their 2020 nominee, they have our complete support.”

The announcement created a firestorm of questions from journalists. When asked why the dramatic change, McDaniel responded, “Well, we had originally planned on using the money to run ads for Trump. But our research shows that this is far more effective.”

“Wait, do you mean effective because nothing will make Americans turn to Trump faster than putting Hillary Clinton in front of their faces, effective because progressives automatically oppose anything Republicans support, or effective because she already lost this exact matchup four years ago?” one reporter asked.

“Yes,” the Chair responded with a grin before walking away and laughing maniacally to herself. Some people just want to watch the world burn.

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This essay was re-posted with permission from Andrew Haack’s blog. Andrew is a spirit-filled sage of great wisdom and a world-renown purveyor of good news and bad jokes. You can find his work on his blog or follow him on Twitter!